Right now, I am not on board with this whole Dubai thang. If Dubai wants to have any credibility with me it will greenlight this. As their submission to the Thyssenkrupp Elevator Architecture Award (rolls off the tongue, doesn’t it?), VisionDivision submitted a design for a gigantic animatronic eunuch storyteller to be placed in Zaabeel Park in Dubai. That’s right: a giant animatronic eunuch storyteller.

You had me at giant animatronic eunuch.

The idea is that the statue represents al Hakawati, an ancient Arabic storyteller. It’s arms and head move as it recites ancient Arabic stories that are broadcast through speakers that are placed throughout the park. The proposal calls for a children’s library in the base and numerous other rooms throughout the body of the sculpture including a gold room, a crystal cavern, a green room and a room full of fish tanks. Take away the children’s library and you got one helluva strip club there.

The only question is, how could this NOT win!? Look, if it doesn’t, I invite the VisionDivision guys to set this up on my front lawn. No charge. Only instead of ancient Arabic stories it will make it recite crazy non-sequitur jibberish. Or Henry Rollins spoken word stuff. Or how about if it just shouts, “Hi, neighbor!!” every three minutes? Oh, the fun I could have…

(via designbloom)